Love and Romance

The Always One

We all have that one. The one that we never truly got over. The one who, though they may have hurt us, we still love them and wish the universe would just get that, like Mariah Carey said, “We belong together!” It’s the person who brings a smile to your face when things get rough. The person you can call in your darkest moments, and you hope they will always be there, no matter what goes down.

I’m going to share the story about my “Always One”, names will be changed though, cause duh.

It was the summer of 1969… Just kidding, it was the end of summer 2013, My freshman year of college! I was moving to a new place, roommates, the beach (my school was on the literal east coast). I was so scared, excited, nervous and every other emotion you can possibly feel. As I sit in my new empty dorm, awaiting my roommates, I started thinking about all the opportunity that was coming my way. All the classes i’d take, people i’d meet, adventures i’d go on. Never did I think i’d meet someone that blew my mind. I’d honestly never met anyone truly able to do that, to make me really feel much more than a simple crush that faded, but I usually stuck around for the comfort (lesson here: don’t settle.) So moving on to a couple weeks into school, I’ve made friends (thank god!). One friend invites me to hang out with people she knows from high school, yay more people! We go and i’m suddenly stuck in a car with someone who annoys the crap out of me, little did I know then I guess. I remember thinking he sounded like a 12 year old boy that was trying, and failing at being funny(Sorry!). He also cooked us dinner that I did not enjoy, but was forced to act as if I did. So I was annoyed, nothing special, I forget about him. Fast forward a few months…The night my feelings changed and I nearly peed my pants from this weird sense of, emotion?

It was terrifying, I think we all know what i’m talking about. The butterflies, the sweating even though it’s 35 degrees outside, the red face and limited eye contact because OH MY GOD, what is happening? There he was, doing his thing and it was like looking at a whole new person. Looking at someone I never thought could exist, but there he was, once again, TERRIFYING. My mind started to scramble, “get yourself together”, “is he looking at me?” “What is this?!”. Allllll the feels over here. The funny thing was, said friend from before is just sitting at the table eating her food and talking to me about her time during Christmas break. I am straight up struggling to communicate with her without bursting into tears of pure confusion. So, i’m a complete mess internally, trying to stay calm. That night is still a blur, all I know is I got the chicken wrap at dinner and we looked at magazines in Walmart. Someone call Nicholas Sparks right now!

We spent three days together before he left for school, and much like many other things, three was the charm. I made a move and somehow my awkward self got him to say yes to spending time alone with me. How? Scientists will be looking into that for decades to come…But he did say yes and once again, i’m a complete train wreck  internally. But the most insane time was ahead of me, and also him inevitably leaving the state. Maybe I should call Nicholas sparks?

So, he left, and as I closed the door after saying goodbye, I actually did fall to the floor and looked up at the ceiling and thought “What. In. The. World.” I was completely head over heels, on the floor, crying. Still not sure if it was sadness, happiness, combo of both? Probably the latter. Months go by, life gets in the way, there’s pain and tears and massive amounts of confusion. Phone calls. Late nights. Crying. Not knowing. And ultimately, the end.

When I think back on this time, i’m blown away by all that I endured. All that I accomplished and all the things I realized about myself. It was on of the most confusing, heartbreaking and inspiring times of my life to date. My lesson here is to take life as it comes, As cliche as it sounds, and yeah it’s cliche as fudge, romance will come in the most unexpected areas of your life. One day you’re sitting at the kitchen counter wondering what the hell this guy is doing to your food, and another you can’t stop thinking about the way he says your name.

It didn’t last, passion has a time limit, as they say, but at least I’ll always have my Always one.



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